Unloading one man's crap onto the entire world...

Sunday, April 08, 2007

United Lead Cut to 3

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 2:29 AM

I just watched Manchester United in a heartbreaking 2-1 loss to Portsmouth. I have not felt so damn near a heart attack in quite a long time, but this really throws the Premiership title race wide open (fuck!). Chelsea is just 3 points away, and with 6 games left, it's really down to who has the mental strength to finish strong.

With the season just about to end in another month or so, both United and Chelsea are still battling for honors in the Premiership, FA Cup, and the Champion's League. There is a possibility that if both teams win out all their games (except the league), then they will have to meet 3 more times.

But just to focus on the Premiership, here's how I would break down each time's title chances:

Strength of Schedule:
Manchester have home games against Sheffield United (18th spot), Middlesbrough (12th), and West Ham (19th).
The away games are to Everton (6th), Manchester City (14th), and Chelsea (2nd).

Chelsea will play home games against Bolton (5th), Manchester United (1st), and Everton (6th), will having to travel to West Ham (19th), Newcastle (10th), and Arsenal (4th).

On paper, Manchester should be able to win all their home games, but certainly, all their away games will be difficult ones, with Manchester City looking to destroy United's hopes.
So, I would say, along the way, Manchester based on current form and injury problems will very likely pick up 4 wins, 1 draw (Man City), and 1 loss (Chelsea).

Chelsea would seem to have the tougher schedule, but they are on form and punching out results. I'm giving them 5 wins and 1 draw (Arsenal).

If my prediction is right, then Manchester will end up with 91 points, and Chelsea would end up with 91 points as well.

Which leads us to...

Goal Difference
Currently, with a goal difference of +52 for Man Utd, as compared to +37 for Chelsea, I would say there is a chance that United will taste Premiership victory given that I see Chelsea grinding out more 1-0s rather than 4-0s.

Other Factors
- Schedule Congestion: For now Chelsea has 2 consecutive Sunday matches after midweek games, while United has two consecutive Saturday matches after midweek games. This translates into 1 extra day of rest for Chelsea.
- Pressure: Playing on a Sunday might not be such a good thing, especially if Manchester wins their Saturday matches, Chelsea would be under pressure to win that game as well to keep in the chase.

Well, it's turning into an interesting end to the season. To tell you the truth, it will be damn cool to see Manchester United neck to neck with Chelsea in the title chase, and meeting each other in the FA Cup Final and Champion's League final as well.

Glory Man United!

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Friday, January 12, 2007

You've got balls...

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 4:31 PM

At the waiting room, overhearing 5 Indian ladies taking a lunch break and gossipping among themselves. My back was turned towards them, so I have no idea who said what, but I'll just identify my target in bold.

Lady: Did you know, XXX's newborn baby was diagnosed with testicular cancer? One on testicle.
Another Lady: Oh, poor thing. That's why XXX look so sad when he came in to work. So the doctor will just remove the one with the cancer.
Lady: Yeah, I think so.
Smart Lady: So it means he will only be left with 2 balls? (at this point, I was thinking "WTF?")
Sarcastic Lady: Yeah, the baby has 3 balls so he will have 2 left.
All ladies: *Laugh out Loud* and ladies start making jokes about balls.

Then conversation continues, they start commenting "poor baby etc. etc." Then,

Smart Lady: Poor baby, the doctor will have to remove the most important part. Cannot make babies anymore. (at this point, I realized that Smart Lady is mixed up between testicle and penis. And amazingly, none of her friends correct her.)
All ladies: *Not attempting to correct Smart Lady*

So moral of story is: Kids should learn the equivalent of zakar and testis in English.

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Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Lists are my best friends

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 12:54 AM

I realized something about myself today. I actually get things done faster when I put them in a list. That really explains why I've felt more productive ever since I have gotten my PDA.
I was in the habit of using written lists back in college, and I think I was really well-served by it, considering I never missed an assignment deadline (and if I was close to missing it, at least I knew I had to go copy someone's homework :P)

I guess lists work for me because I actually feel like I have done something whenever I put a checkmark beside a task and the PDA asks "Do you want to mark this task as completed?". That's satisfaction for a job well done. (And it also bugs the hell out of me to see my list unchecked. Makes me feel lazy. Oh wait, I am lazy.)

So to celebrate the onslaught of year 2007, I have decided to do New Year's resolutions for the first time in my life. To make it even more effective (I hope), I have started to list down my first task, which is learning how to drive a manual transmission vehicle. I know, no big deal to some of you, but very big deal for me. That's because if I were rich, I would buy a sports car, and I don't think many sports cars come in auto-transmission right?

Click to view my progress :)

Oh, and Happy New Year everyone!

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Einstein's Riddle

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 12:50 AM

This riddle was written by Albert Einstein in the 19th century, as claimed by the article in the link. Apparently, only 2% of the people in the planet could solve the riddle.

Well, I managed to get the correct answer to the riddle, and probably any self-respecting Sudoku player will be able to get the answer by a little bit of PnP (Plug and Pray).

Have fun!

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Monday, December 25, 2006

The good dogs die early

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 8:43 PM

Nothing much happened lately.
Well, except for the fact that my favorite dog at home, Macho, died 2 weeks ago, due to suspected poisoning. The vet has no idea what killed him, but the autopsy showed copious amounts of yellow liquid in the stomach.
So, its a mystery how Macho died, but I'll just eulogize by saying:
You were a good dog. Although you were somewhat retarded and I always liked to mess with your brains, I always thought you were the best dog (after Rambo, but Rambo passed on as well this year).

Rest in peace.
http://trashycan.blogspot.com/2006/02/happy-chinese-new-year.html (That's Macho in the black suit and red bowtie)

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Monday, October 23, 2006

I smell Bullshit.

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 1:16 AM

So the Jasin Member of Parliament tells Malaysian Customs, "Hey, you're confiscating my shipment. Just close one eye and no one will know anything, yeah."
More than half a year onwards, no action has been taken against either Jasin MP, or the Customs Department.
One for making a government agency neglect it's rightful duty.
One for actually neglecting it's rightful duty (to deny the request, and to report it as well).

So much for accountability right? In any other developed country (since that is what we are aiming to achieve by 2020 right?), Mr. Jasin MP would have resigned in shame and retired from public eye. Instead, emboldened by the sudden media attention he was given, he makes more claims of corruption against the Customs (for not selling him a confiscated Mercedes-Benz). And I believe he has never backed it up with evidence(and yeah, pot calling the kettle black).

Latest bullshit was from the Klang Municipal council. Whenever ordinary citizens tries to build an extension to their home, if you do not have the council's permission, it will get bulldozed and you get a fine. Datuk Zakaria builds a mansion, without council permission (Datuk Zakaria happens to be a councillor at the Klang Municipal council). Not only is his mansion still standing tall and proud, he gets off with the maximum fine, a paltry RM24,000. I would figure that's chump change for Datuk Zakaria, since the mansion he is building would probably cost upwards of RM1 million.
Now, we find out from TheStar that another councillor of the municipal council is building a near look-alike mansion as Datuk Zakaria.

Here's some of the bullshit I am smelling:
MPK president Abdul Bakir Zin:
"MPK will investigate how the mansion came to be built up to this stage without the enforcement or planning department imposing a stop-work order or even alerting me. Work should not have gone on until plans submitted are approved.
It is time the council stopped the rot as it will shatter people's confidence."
Me: Isn't it obvious someone told someone else to "close one eye"?. And what makes you think the people's confidence hasn't been shattered by your council's puny action against Datuk Zakaria?

Mazlynoor Abdul Latiff (the second councillor):
When contacted by The Star, Mazlynoor claimed that other councillors had also built mansions within the area without building plans.
Me: So someone fucks a dog and you will go fuck one too?

Mazlynoor Abdul Latiff:
"So, you visited the area. You took a lot of photographs. No reason for you to highlight the matter. Everyone is doing it, but my house is small"
Me: No, not everyone. Just you and your pals in the council. Cuz you guys can get away with it, and the man on the street can't. Anyway, if your house is so small, why is it 4 stories high?

Mazlynoor Abdul Latiff:
Mazlynoor said that he submitted a plan to MPK’s planning department in 2005.
"It was returned to me as it did not conform to the sewerage infrastructure. As it involved costs, I went ahead with the construction".
Me: Erm, so it's OK to build a home that might leak with your shit later, but it's not OK to build teapots on private land?

My prediction on the outcome of this incident? Dude get's fined, house gets built. Dude stays in council despite breaking his own council's laws. Media forgets about it, and the country moves on to the next scandal.

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Missing Mat Rempit. Reward if found, dead only.

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 1:01 AM

I just can't help not reading The Star. I mean, where else could I find the stupid things Malaysian's say to the media?
Here's something new, headlined Mat Rempit missing from Kubang Semang area.
Excerpt:
"The illegal motorcycle racers have gone missing from the roads here since the throwing of stones incident at the Kubang Semang police station last Sunday."

"Over the last one week, we have not spotted any Mat Rempit at the various road blocks set up along the Butterworth-Kulim Expressway (BKE)," he told a press conference at the Kubang Semang police station on Sunday."

"DCP Wan said that the absence of the Mat Rempits could be a sign that they had started to change for the better after realising their mistakes."

Oh come fucking on, do you not watch enough TV to understand the notion of criminals laying low until the heat is off?
You know, those HK dramas/movies, where the triad member commits a crime, and runs off to China to lay low? No?

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Cellphone Number Portability Next Year?

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 12:43 AM

MCMC is "confident" that mobile number portability will be available to cellphone users by December next year.
That's December 2007, ladies and gentlemen.
This was supposed to happen last year, according to The Star Online, so I think this time, we should all pretend to be pleasantly surprised that there is an initiative to remove the monopolies that a telecommunications provider has over their subscribers. Finally, the grip on cellphone user's balls will be loosened. (If you don't have balls, well, then...oh fuck it, you know what I mean).

So come December 2007, if there is another delay, I think we should also pretend to be angry and pissed off (hey, you didn't really think it was gonna happen right?).

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24 Hour Online Banking. My Ass.

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 12:19 AM

Bank online, anytime. How often has a bank's marketing department came up with such a tag line to promote their online banking services.
So that tells me that I can log in anytime of the day to do my banking. Anytime. Anywhere. As long as Streamyx is not facing connection problems of cuz.

My RHB Bank SecureCard has a slogan. "ibank.online.everytime".

So why is it when I try to log in after 12am, every fucking time, I see the same fucking messages?





*Check out RHB's URL. After11.htm. Lame.

I just wonder, if I am halfway across the world, I figure I'll just have to make sure I calculate what time it is in Malaysia so that I don't have to access my account during such IMPORTANT scheduled maintenance.

Anyway, since it's just a local bank with no global/regional aspirations, I guess they don't have the same resources as to compete with Citibank (who, truly keeps to their word and allows me 24 hour access to my account).




Mamak stalls put you to shame, you cheap-ass banks.

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Monday, July 17, 2006

IKEA: The Sale Is On

- Trashed by SampahMan @ 10:06 PM


http://adsoftheworld.com/media/print/ikea_sale_on_sale

I've been expecting this sale to happen, and I have put off all my furniture purchases until this sale starts. Hopefully, the stuff that I have already shortlisted would have some discounts, if not, really gonna be sleeping in an empty room. *owls hooting*

The big question is: When is the sale happening? I've been expecting this to happen sometime this July, since the current IKEA catalog will be renewed on August. Also, I figure they are putting this off to coincide with the Malaysian Mega Sale Carnival 2006 (22nd July - 3rd September), slated to start right after the Singapore sales ends. So I figure sometime within the next week, you'll be hearing a lot of radio ads on sales happening practically everywhere.

Boys and girls, get your credit cards ready, cuz we're going shopping!

Update! (19th July 2006): Yong's comments got me curious, so I called up IKEA's customer service, first thing the automated system tells me is that the IKEA sale will be on from 20th July - 20th August. And I can use my temporary member's card to attend the member's preview sale as well! Whoopee!

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